Wednesday, May 12, 2004


Wow, Blogger's new layout is nice. It's better than before.

But anyway, 'Ugh', as stated above, is how I've been feeling. The newly-prescribed amphetamines mentioned earlier in this blog are not working out so well, and I've got attitude problems.

And it sucks! I've got good music, good friends, a cool family, and most other things going for me, and I still feel icky. Clearly, my drugs are a problem.

I had childhood depression and drugs for said problem when I was a kid. At the end of junior high school, I refused my drugs and finished school without them.

Things were good that way, and I made it through a mission and other trials, still undrugged. I think there have been times when it would have been wise to get me on something, though.

The Air Force almost killed me a couple of years ago, and I was pretty well down for the count for about six months after that.

Maybe the stresses of being back in school are just bringing out the manic depressive in me. The thing is that I'm not the creatively depressed type; I just ponder my depression and get more depressed. My analyzing and probing childhood ADD/Depression doctors taught me well!

It really is too bad I can't enjoy my amphetamines like everyone else, though. I really did try, but least not this kind...doesn't make me have fun, or even help me be more productive. It does make me super-introspective though, which would be fun if I had more esteem right now.

Wow, look at that! I can write a depressing post, too! Who'd have thought?

I'll write a happy post right after I post this one to help cover it up a bit.

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